zones of comfort
Setting Up Your Space
Before you begin this zone of comfort activity, it is important that you create a safe space for yourself. Let's set up your 5 senses with the following things:
Taste: Prepare a warm beverage: lemon water with honey, tea, or even hot chocolate. Alcohol and caffeine can put us in heightened states and take away from the sense of calm we are looking for, but you know yourself and if a glass of wine or a cup of coffee will ease your nerves then I support you as you settle into your space.
Smell: we are constantly activated by our sense of smell. Peppermint can take you back to a time when you were young interacting with a beloved elderly relative, or a whiff of cinnamon can make you think of a former lover. Take a moment to think about what smells help you get into a state of calm. For me, it is lavender essential oil and sandalwood incense. Light a candle/incense or start up your diffuser.
Sight: be intentional about the lighting you want to have as you get settled in. Perhaps a warm table lamp or natural lighting is better for your eyes.
Sound: a soundscape from calm or a playlist from Spotify to help get you into a flow state: my faves these days are Healing Rhythms or Beautiful Chorus
Touch: this is definitely my favorite because I am such a tactile person. Make sure you are in a comfy spot and your body is supported in a way that makes you feel safe, relaxed, and alert. If you know you'll fall asleep in bed, head to a comfy cozy chair with a blanket and your slippers.
Setting a Timer:
set a timer for about 20 min to an hour and give yourself permission to be finished with this after that. Even if you don't answer everything. That's ok. We have time to work through this together, the important part is that this doesn't feel like work, this is an awareness tool.
*Turn your phone on, do not disturb!
Your Permission Slip:
take a moment in the beginning to give yourself a permission slip:
ex. I give myself permission to answer honestly.
ex. I give myself permission to release judgment of my answers.
ex. I give myself permission to answer what I can and release what I cannot.
Your turn! Write this on a piece of paper where you can see it as you go!
Zones of Comfort
On a piece of paper or in a journal, make a list of the areas in your life that feel like they are comfort, risk, or danger. These can be relationships, behaviors, specific moments in work. I want you to list out your coping strategies in these different boxes as well. This is basically looking at the different areas of your life and starting to categorize them. It will help us know how to prioritize what it is that we are working on. Be as specific or as broad as your intuition tells you to be.
Comfort: this is your safe space; these are the things that you feel comfortable navigating. Such as hanging out with your kids, building relationships at work, running. What else would fit on this list?
Risk: these are the things that yes, you can do, and maybe you even do them well, but they might feel comfortable, maybe it brings a bit of tension. This is the most fertile place for learning and living life. Maybe it is taking on complex challenges as work and solving problems for friends. It might be challenging, but you grow from these experiences. What would go in this box?
Danger: this is the red zone. This is when you do not feel safe. Your nervous system gets activated, and usually what triggers destructive behaviors. Perhaps it is anticipating challenging conversations with Paul, navigating financial stress, or anything else that creates the desire to escape.
Soothing Your Nervous System
Ok now that you have done this deep and hard work, it is time to soothe your nervous system.
My recommendation is to lay down or get comfy and listen to this 3-min Body Scan Meditation
But I want you to pick one or two other things to do after, if you still feel pent up energy after doing this exercise. Such as taking a long bath, a hot shower, going for a massage, or even dancing around for a bit!
Click the here to start the meditation: Mini-Meditation Body Scan